2012 Chicago Men’s Week 1 Hoops

Updated: June 15, 2012

Week 1 Video

Hello All Sports Series Participants! (Beware the next paragraph is a copy/paste from the Suburbs post so feel free to skip down if you read that already). This is the first of many write-ups coming your way this season.  Before I get into the week that was I want to set up what I do here for the new teams and readers.  Each week there will be a review about the past games as well as some insight and a brief preview of the week to come.   I also will include the Video for each week at the top which you can view by clicking the “Week 1 Video” above.

Please keep a couple of things in mind.. 1) I write about all of the games using a statistical review; I do not see nearly enough of the games to have a decent opinion as to what is going on.. 2) I am changing the format this year just a hair.. I am going to do a sort of “Power Rankings” type review as opposed to the individual game wrap-ups.  This was a suggestion from either Jon “or Brian” Nickow who participate in both the Chicago Men’s and Co-Ed leagues.

Enough for the preface.. let’s do this..

1) Team Merar (Greater Than) Currently Tied for 1st with 15 pts – The #1 Spot will be held by the 2011 Chicago League Champs until someone knocks them from them their pedestal. Dating back to last year they are on a sick winning streak and it seems like they have only gotten better in the off-season. Being the “old men” team in 2011,  Captain Mike “Younger” Merar brought in Jake “the Younger” Weiner, Bradley “the Younger” Deutsch and Andrew “Fire nuuuuuuuu” Hirsh to give his team the fresh legs they need to repeat.  Even without 2011 MVP Michael “Ya i just named you MVP” Bailen they got the victory against a gamely Team Feldgreber (EFT Sports Performance) squad.  Led by Brian “Triiiiiicolla and loyal reader” Deutsch and his big time 30 points.  His 30 led all scorers for the Chicago League and was good enough to be the Greater Than Moment of the Week. Think I am putting too much stock into the defending champs? Then beat em.

2) Team Dorfman (Teplitz & Bell) – Currently Tied for 1st with 15 pts – For the same reason that Team Merar is atop the Rankings, the 2011 Runner Up stands at #2 until they get beat. The leadership is the same as Daniel “thee GM” Dorfman is still running the show yet team is a much much different one than we have seen the past two seasons.  Benny “if you dare me to shoot and there is a camera on me I’m going to take the shot and make it” Lalez is also around for another All Sports Series campaign but those two are joined by Kevin “no relation to Marc” Bulger and Hal “It’s good to see you” Schmeisser.  Long story short they beat a really good Team Bulwa (Crystal Lake Jeep) Squad who they also have some beef with.  More on them later..   Many think the Dorfmans are the favorites and I can’t really disagree. They are a handful in every sport especially volleyball and because of it they are going to get a high seed and likely be around at the end. Next weeks Hoops matchup (1 of only 2 Hoops games next week) with Team Glass (Crescent Movers) should be something special…Speaking of which.

3) Team Glass (Crescent Movers) – Currently Tied for 1st with 15 pts – Last Year’s Semi-Finalist (have you seen a trend yet.. week 1 wins are nice, but playoff wins is what separates you in terms of the rankings) picked up right where they left off in terms of Hoops.  Even without sharp Josh “did he just step out of the car? cause he’s open” Lurie, the Glass rebounded and shot to a victory Monday Night against Team Faye (Dr. Jacob DDS).  Adam “One of the premium captains in any league out there” Glass and Sam “the secret’s out and hes real real good” Harris were helped out by Yoni “I almost gave your stats to someone else” Serfaty and his 17.  This much I know. You do not want to play this team in Hoops. I repeat, you do not want to play this team in Hoops..

4) Team Watts (Jam ‘n Honey) – Currently Tied for 1st with 15 pts – You dont want to play this team in Hoops either for that matter.  Another Final 4 team from last year (alright I’m done ranking based on last year’s playoffs.. but they all won!) Team Watts looked really really really good.  3 reallys for all the 3s they made.   Jake “electric” Watts was quoted after the game as saying “we’re ready to make the leap” or something like that.. I didnt write it down because I was doing something else at the time.. But you get the point.  They have trimmed some of the roster down and then beefed up with some size.  Bobby “sweet shooting” Dobry is back for another run at the title. He happened to put in 17 on Monday.   If you didnt see any of the men in black (and red) take my word for it.  They are big and they are athletic.  Let’s see what they can do with hockey sticks in their hands next week against Team Saltzberg (The Whiskey Bar).

5) Team Kornblatt (VIP Sports Marketing) – Currently Tied for 1st with 15 pts – Entering their 3rd All Sports Series season “Pure Bwa” has experienced many highs and lows.  Many recall their disappointing 2010 when they just could not get a win.  Then last year they looked the several naysayers (oh and are there several) dead in the eye and said bring it!  They got the 3 seed last season going into the playoffs and then they ran into the buzzsaw that was Team Merar in the 1st round and suffered a real bad loss.  Looking through their basketball records over the past 2 years it was easy to diagnose this squad’s ailment. Which is exactly why Matthew “Go take a class from him at Real Ryder Revolution” Kornblatt inked two big time free agents in the offseason.  He added Sean “@Swallball” Wallis and Todd “do you find people have trouble understanding your last name, because when I say my first name, which is similar to your last name they never know what I am saying” Goldner.  The additions immediately paid off as Sean led his team with 18 on the night to get the victory over the sleepers Team Horwitz.  If this team has righted the basketball ship, which it seemingly has, I just dont see them letting go of their top 5 spot at all this season.

6) Team Cohen (Stuart Levin & Associates Insurance ) – Currently tied for 1st place with 15 pts. – Now im not totally positive but I would think that @TeamCohen2 pulling out the win against Team Apuli (Giordano’s) would be some sort of an upset?  I dont know the rosters well enough to be totally sure but I’d say Team Cohen has to be pretty pleased with themselves.  Andy “Captain Andy” Cohen got big help from Brian “yes the Captain from his Burbs team” Harris who had 26!  Cohen’s crew was solid in each sport last year (actually earning the two seed going into the playoffs). They have had some roster shakeups but after week 1 it seems they are right on track to be getting a “home game” in the 1st round once again.

7) Team Bulwa (Crystal Lake Jeep) – Currently tied for 9th with 0 pts – Ok Ok Ok. Shhhh. Let me tell you a little secret… If you have a Bodog account or you are going to Vegas.. this is the team that is worth a flier.  Out of all of the teams that lost in Week 1 these guys would be my bet to bounce back and be the last team standing. (Editor Note: a) All Sports Series can not actually be bet on b) I do not encourage any form of illegal betting activity 🙂 ).  Back to the Bulwaers. For those unfamiliar with this squad, Zach “Bill Lambeer” Bulwa has broken away from his former squad, Team Dorfman, and has brought in a crew of Suburbs League All Stars.  Many of which were on Team Glickman, the 2o11 Suburbs League Champs, including: David “Give me all 3 of these” Spreckman, Mike “down on the block” Glickman, Mike “at least he’s the tallest” Maione and everyone’s favorite Ricky “Richard” Silverman. They are going to be good. Hateable, you bet.  During the spring I heard comparisons to the Heat. We all know that took some time to mesh.. We shall see.

8 – Team Saltzberg (the Whiskey Bar) – Currently Tied for 1st with 15 pts – This team is newly assembled but the faces in the crowd have been around the All Sports Series block before.  Other teams beware, players on this squad won the Suburbs Volleyball Tournament last season. Just FYI.  They also have some silky jump shooters like Tom “I do not believe we have met” Barnett who had 20.  I’ll be honest from the Stats they look pretty good in hoops which is usually a good indicator for the rest of the sports.  I just havent seen enough off of Captain Sean “iceberg?” Saltzberg’s (I’ll work on it) squad to really have a good feeling as to where they’ll wind up..

9) Team Greenberg (PopChips) – Currently Tied for 1st with 15 pts – You know when you internally play ping pong in your head and you just cant make a decision?  When mapping out the rankings I had this team as high as 6th.. and down a few spots and up and down and up again. I settled on #9.. “Now let me tell you why.” Many remember Captain Elliot “Efficient” Greenberg and his rag tag team from last year. They were scrappy and hung around in each sport but just couldnt pull out enough Ws to get into the Playoffs.  After combining what they have learned from last year with new free agents Brent “I just ran a 40k” Linsky and Jeff “JTD” Davis this squad has grown leaps and bounds from where they were in August 2011.   There is just a new sense of maturity with this team from the likes of Nick “did you get new curtains” Henner and Aaron “Isreal – ” Levy.  They picked up a big win in hoops on Monday Night. They also have one of the best hockey squads around and interestingly enough next week they will be matched up with #1 in the Rankings Team Merar.  If they can pull out a W this week in a sport that really suits them they will be climbing to the top of the Rankings list in no time.

10) Team Solof (Atomic Transport) – Currently tied for 9th with 0 pts –  The final team in the top 10 is Team Solof.  They are rookie team playing under the banner of the All Sports Series MVP Sponsor Atomic Transport.. They fought hard in their first game Monday night but were severely shorthanded which didnt allow for the team to meet their standard.  Jeremy “Do Not Give him room to operate on the court cause it’ll be 2 points” Morton and Matt “Howieeeeeeeeee” Howard did what they could but they just needed a few more guys. Look for this team to bounce back in Week 2. I also fully expect a playoff run out of them.

Teams just missing the Top 10 (in alphabetical order)

Team Apuli (Giordano’s) – Nice pic up there! You know how in Rivalry games you throw out everything about the team cause anything can happen. I’m going to chalk up Monday Night’s loss to the Rivalry aspect and nothing else. Team Apuli has size, strength, speed and skill.  Done be surprised if you see them rise in the Rankings (and high up on them for that matter).

Team Faye (Dr. Jacob DDS) – This was a bad matchup for Team Faye. I don’t like anyones chances in a basketball game against Team Glass.  To Team Faye’s credit they stuck around and made it interesting. Captain Sammy “Telman” Faye dropped 24 to help his team cover I mean stay close.

Team Feldgreber (EFT Sports Performance) – I can’t call this team Rookies so much as they are just under new management.  They played hard against the #1 Team Merar (Greater Than) and by all accounts were just victims of superb shooting from the other team.  I think Team Feldgreber is going to sneak up on teams this year.  I feel the playoffs and if they get the right basketball matchup in round 1 then were looking at a team that has a long run in them.

Team Horwitz (Steve’s Deli) – Does it hurt me to leave this team out of the top 10. Yes. Did I want to justify putting them in the top 10. Yes. So you know what.. Next week they’ll probably be in.. But not because of my desire to give some DAP to my friends but because they have some super duper hockey players.   Captain Jon “Wiz” Horwitz has assembled a group of guys that dont necessarily know or even like each other.. But damnit can they play hockey!  Josh “excited to have you throw the jersey on” Weinstein and Graham “trendy glasses” Conatser these guys are going to put the puck in the net.  Them and Team Cohen should have a great game next week.

Team Kluever (Sunset Foods) – Of all the Chicago League teams this is the one I know the least about.  Captain Brad “you have been very helpful, thank you” Kluever has a some big guys on his team.  They were matched up Week 1 with Basketball Force Team Watts. As the season goes on I expect this group to find themselves and figure it out.  Cant really predict anything out of them I just think that Week 1 shouldnt be a judgment of how they will do..

Team Radist (Carriage Hill Kennels) – One of my favorite teams in ANY of the leagues.  I just like these guys. Captain Eric “you scared the !@$! out of me” Radist has a group that can take down any team at any time in any sport.  They just need to find a way to get up for teams that arent perceived as the top dawgs.  Justin “Stretch Armstrong” Kaminsky is a great on ball defender and adds scoring as well.  These guys have been around the block before and with the right bounces can make a real difference in the outcome of the league this year.


Thats all for me for this week. Make sure you start playing the Pick-Em Game! If you have no idea what I am talking about.. Read the Emails! Or just talk to me and I’ll fill you in.

– Holden